Bapang Godo

Memorial to the Murdered Jews of Europe in Berlin, Germany
Originally uploaded by Tobi_2008

an uncle died the other day. he is my mom's brother in law. although we are not related by blood, i have fond memories of him. when I was in grade school, i used to spend part of my summer at their place in manggahan pasig. he's a quite one, never boastful. i think that's why my dad likes to chill and drink with him at times.

back in the day, his only daughter and I were inseperable. my youngest sister was yet to be born, so she took the part instead. you can say that my cousin was quite naughty and hard headed which earned her some spanking from her tatay. yet, as i saw him discipline her, i didn't fear for him nor like him less. i thought he's was just being a father doing what he think is right. he had his share of secrets, my mom managed to hide from me. from adult discussions i'd pick up that he had a son. it was only when i was working already that my relatives thought i'm old enough to understand and they'd openly talk about it. in some family gatherings, i recognised him. he's hard to miss because he's so much like his dad except that he's gay.

i haven't been to the wake. i will be there tomorrow, for my tita and my cousin. i know they'll need all the support or whatever emergency assistance we can give. pray i won't break down so much like i always do when i see people crying. more so when they are not crying but obviously hurting.

i try not to think so much of the dead. but i guess, through our memories, they are more alive than ever.